Growing up, I always knew that I would go to college, just
as I knew I would go on a mission, get married, and have children. It was just
part of the plan, and I was okay with that plan. The first hiccup in the plan
came when my parents were called to preside over a mission the summer after my
freshman year. Although I was initially very excited to move to Brazil, it was
only a few short weeks before I was homesick. I missed friends, sports, food,
extended family, and countless other things. I found myself rather miserable,
just looking at everything that I was missing out on back home. After a few months
of misery, I decided I was tired of it. I was in Brazil of all places; I didn't
have any other place to go, so I decided I might as well enjoy it. The next few
months were a very poignant contrast to the first few. I began to make new
friends, eat new foods, and love the culture. It was through this experience
that I found my love of change.
After a year in Brazil I, together with my parents, came to
the decision that I would move back to the states and live with my grandparents
for the remainder of my parent’s mission. I knew that moving back I would be
going to Timpview High School in Provo. Although I had visited my grandparents
almost weekly growing up, Provo was still a very foreign place to me. I had
grown up in West Jordan, and the two cities separated by a mere 41 miles were
very different. Gratefully I had learned how to deal with change at this point
and the transition went rather smoothly. One day after a summer football
practice a teammate invited me to his house to hang out. I quickly found my way
into his group of friends, and I am still very close with almost everyone in
that group today.
Also during this time I grew extremely close to my family.
My parents and youngest brother were in Brazil, my brother was in Salt Lake,
and my sister was in Idaho. Despite our different locations, we were able to
stay close through webcam conversations and yearly reunions in Brazil during
our Christmas breaks from school. I also was able to develop wonderful
relationships with my grandparents and aunt while living with them. It was through these experiences that I found
my love of good friends and family.
After a year of high school, I ran into my second hiccup, a
wonderful young lady who seemed to entrance me with each move she made. I found
myself wanting to spend as much time with her as possible. Although my parents
and grandparents weren't too keen on the idea, I found very creative ways to
see her without letting them know. Each time I would go to her house, I would
reference a different member of her family when telling my grandparents where I
was going. Seeing she has 10 siblings, 2 parents, and a dog, I was able to go
to her house 13 times before I would have to repeat her name. Although I am
sure they could see right through my fibbing, they seemed to let it slide for
one reason or another. After graduation I began to think about going on a
mission. Although this was in the plan from day 1, this young lady had me
questioning whether or not I should go. I knew a mission would be marvelous for
me, but she was pretty special too. After several long talks, she convinced me
that if I were to go, things would work out as they should. It was through this
experience that I learned my love for this young lady.
My mission led me once again to the wonderful country of
Brazil. I was blessed to serve in an area of the world where people are very
accepting of the gospel. I was blessed to see numerous miracles and many wonderful
people join the church. I was able to see people completely change their lives
in a very short period of time, something that is a very phenomenal occurrence.
About the midway point in my mission I received a phone call from my mission
president, letting me know my mother had been diagnosed with cancer. I was able
to talk to her that day before she went into surgery, and her advice was to
“stop worrying about (her) and get back to work”. She said the best thing I
could do to help her recover was to work, and to work hard. Although my mind
was almost always on my mother, I took her advice to heart, and began to work
harder than I had ever done so. If my work would influence her health in any
way, I was going to make sure there was no doubt that I wanted nothing less
than a full recovery. Along with my work improving, my prayers also increased
in frequency and fervency. It was
through these experiences that I learned to rely on the Lord.
My mother’s health improved to the point that when I
returned from my mission, she was in full remission. With each of our
perspectives very much changed due to my mother’s health, our family grew even
closer. We started finding excuses to spend time together, and every chance we
could, we would plan a party or get-together. Seeing I was finally old enough
to be considered one of the adults, I was able to participate in a new way. My
love for my family, especially my mother, grew immensely as we spent more and
more time together. It was during this time that my love for my family grew
beyond what I thought possible.
As I returned from my mission in April, I had a few months
before school would officially start. I had spent some time working for my
friend’s dad painting houses, but I was looking for a job that would be more
flexible with school. One day my father received a phone call; it was a
neighbor who was looking for my little brother to come work in his warehouse.
My little brother was away at youth conference that week, but my dad offered me
as a replacement. I went down to the warehouse the next day, and I was given
the task of moving a large pile of cardboard boxes from one location to
another. It was a rather arduous task, but I had developed a great work ethic
on my mission, and it carried over to this job as well. After a few weeks I was
offered a part-time position, which slowly turned into a full time position. It
was with this job that I learned the value of hard work.
During this same time, I once again became entranced with
that young lady that took so much of my attention in high school. We began to
date fairly seriously, and marriage soon started to enter our discussions. My
one reservation was the thought that I hadn't had much experience dating other
people. How was I to know that she was the right one? After a long conversation
with my father, I decided that I needed to attend the Temple with my query.
Nearing the end of the endowment, our session was stopped due to “medical
emergency” in the Celestial Room. During these few minutes while I sat in silence
a scripture came to mind: “I, the Lord, am bound when
ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise”
(D & C 82:10). I finally understood that as long as I was willing to do the
right things in life, that I could be very happy with this young lady, even if
I had little dating experience. I proceeded to go home, tell my family that I
was going to ask her to marry me, and I headed off to buy the ring. When I
presented her with the ring, and asked her to spend the rest of forever with
me, she began to cry. Lucky for me, this was a good cry, and she said yes.
Through this experience I learned that the Lord will direct me personally (to
this day I do not know what happened in the Celestial Room to stop the session,
but when I get to the other side and I can find out who it was, I am definitely
going to give them a big hug).
Although I had attended BYU before my mission, my real
academic learning did not start until after I got married. I finally realized
that I needed to graduate someday, and I got serious about finding a major. I
dabbled in almost every major in the business school, but after finding I
disliked most of them, and having my application rejected to the emphasis I did
enjoy, I was on the prowl again. I talked with a counselor, and after hearing a
bit about my situation, she suggested Communication Studies. Whether I wanted to
continue working after school, or pursue a graduate degree, the program would
fit well with either plan. Although I am not naturally a great student, I had
found my niche in academia. I loved being taught how to research, and I began
to appreciate the idea of building off of others learning. I was exposed to the
first textbook in my learning career that was actually interesting to read. It was by finding this major that I learned to
love learning.
About a year after our marriage, my wife and I began to start
thinking about having a child. Although we had no idea where we would get the
money, or how to be parents, we had a strong feeling that the timing was right.
Unfortunately, about this same time, my mother’s health began to decline again.
By the time our son was born, my mother knew that her mortal existence would
soon be over. The time we spent with her was always very special, and became
even more so now that my wife and I had a child to bring to our gatherings.
Both my mother’s health and my son’s birth made the next few months a very
emotional time for me. I began to understand the love of a parent more and more
each day. I also began to feel a love for my mother that I had never felt
before. I had the opportunity to spend many nights with her so that my father
could get a few hours of sleep. Often she wasn't able to say anything, but I
was able to feel of her love. These nights were long and often difficult,
especially with a full time job and school on the side, but I would not trade
them for anything. My mother passed away in November of 2012, but she did so
leaving no doubt with me, or any of the rest of my family, that she was off to
do the work of the Lord. This time of my life taught me the importance of
eternal families.
Writing these experiences down has helped me realize that I
have learned a lot over the years. At the time, many of these experiences were
not what I would have chosen for myself, but I now am beginning to realize the
importance that they have had, and will continue to have on my life. As I
continue on with my journey, I hope to always be ready and willing to learn
from the experiences that are given to me.
